Making that BIG 1st Impression - What to Gift??

Making that BIG 1st Impression - What to Gift??

Today I am going to share one gift shopping experience that really drove me crazy...

This post is a part of contest at BlogaAdda.com in association with Badhai.in

“Can I help you?” said the sales girl in a polite but stern voice. I looked up a tad embarrassed and managed to utter “Umm..Actually I am looking for this perfect gift for my fiancé and his parents too.” She replied “Ahh..that’s what is taking you so long”. I checked my watch and felt the hot rush of blood colouring my cheeks with embarrassment, I had been roaming around in this 500sq ft Archie’s Gallery from the past 2 hours!!! Well it was not exactly my fault that I had got engaged a week back and my would-be and his family were settled in Coimbatore while I was in Kolkata. I had to send a nice-personal-appropriate gift for my fiancé and in-laws which would make that perfect first impression on them. So while I was searching around for that particular item which would bowl them over completely!! I made a quiet exit from the shop holding my head high in a fashion which clearly indicated that this-shop-stocks-nothing-worth-buying.

My friends told me nerve-wracking, heart-shattering stories (ahh okiee I am exaggerating!!) of how the courier services could lose your parcels or deliver only part of the parcel. I was clear on the fact that I did not want it to happen to me. Moreover, I hate packing parcels. Somehow I can’t bring myself to wrap strips-after-strips of cello-tapes on the gifts enveloped in bubble-papers or foam to safeguard them and then go through that nail-biting session while waiting for the gift to reach. I decided to make my best friend to tag along with me in my pursuit of finding that “perfect gift”. After a mini-research of around 5 minutes with the other shopaholics’ friends of mine, I had zeroed in on a gift shop in this fancy and glitzy shopping mall. After a hunt of 3 hours, I had just managed to pick out an office-desk accessory for my father-in-law. I was in two-minds about everything I saw, the fact that I knew my in-laws and fiancé from just past one week did not help either. I mean how to know if my mom-in-law would like a book or a show-piece, whether my fiancé would prefer a mushy romantic gift or a practical gift-of-use. Moreover, I had no clue about their colour preferences too.

Every item my friend picked out from the rack was rejected for various odd reasons like “I think this can break-in-transit”, ”Gawwd! not this. It ll look silly.”, “Umm..are you sure he ‘ll like it?”.So back went to the rack the cute double-heart photo-frame, a soft toy, a nice perfume as well as a leather belt watch. After a till-my-legs-would-break search of the mall, I also managed to pick out this really Smart informal Shirt by Tommy Hilfiger for my fiancé along with a cute personalized crystal with a picture of both of us. I was having a high-level category of serious bout of doubts on whether my fiancé would like the checked shirt I had just purchased.

Mom-in-law is supposed to be the most important person after your marriage with whom you have to compulsorily get along. Hunting for the perfect gift for my uber cool and modern Sasu-maa was an uphill task. She was really finicky and choosy was also a setback in the procedure of our hunt for that perfect gift. Finally, after a lot of persuasion and some real hard looks by the shop-owners I managed to settle for a smart and exclusive Guess Bag.

We were lucky enough not to get thrown out of the shops where I did my best to extract all possible information on what can be the ideal gift for your mother-in-law! Pleased with myself, I returned home and started packing the gifts excitedly. But as I told you, courier packing was not my cup of tea, so finally after repeated failed attempts it was delegated to my household help. The courier was sent and I waited with butterflies in my stomach for the review on my gifts. Now I realized how authors, directors etc feel when their creation is launched to be dissected in the full glare of the public eye.

The courier reached, gifts were received, a polite thank you call came and lo behold! It was all over. I was quite pleased with myself till I got married and started living with my in-laws. Then I discovered to my utter dismay that my fiancé already had that Tommy shirt in a different colour I had sent for him, my MIL was not into carrying shoulder bags but she preferred hand clutched ones and my FIL also did most of his work from home and that office-desk-accessory stayed in the cardboard box container probably to be taken out for gifting purpose in the future. Ahh!! How I wish Badhai coupons existed that time to save my face from this tiresome and embarrassing episode. They could have used those coupons for online shopping or maybe I could have gifted a spa experience coupon. It would have made my first gifts to my in-laws so memorable and special.

This post is a part of the contest at BlogAdda.com in association with Badhai.in

Top 10 tips for “Miss” on the way to be “Mrs.”

When a female turns back the pages of her life, she is bound to get nostalgic on the event which completely changed her life and that is – her Marriage.

Me & my brother
(before marriage)

Me on my D-day
(getting married)

The most memorable and precious moments of a girl’s life is her marriage - the day she takes over a variety of roles and ceases to be just “daddy’s-little-princess” n “Maa ki pyaari bititya”. She is now a wife, daughter in law, bhabi, chachi and the list goes on. Every girl receives those well-meaning little nuggets of advise/suggestion/information from all those relatives who have suddenly materialized out of thin air. All the long lost aunts’ n cousins come alive!!! Everyone will have their experiences to share. But my dear aunties married in the 1970’s n 1980’s (no offence intended) times have really changed and the tips that came handy to you does not really hold any weight in today’s scenario.

 So all the girls on their way or soon to be on their way to be bound in wedlock here’s a list of tips which will hold u in good stead when adjusting to a whole new life :-

Mother-in-law teaching her Daughter-in-law.

   1.   DO not learn COOKING..- Yes u heard me right! After all what’s the use in learning how-to make-upma/poha/daal when you’ll have to relearn it all after marriage. I mean your hubby n in-laws would be having their specific tastes and also their own style of cooking. .For eg in my parents’ home we had mostly North-Indian dishes of roti-subzee-dal but my in-laws prefer South –Indian delicacies of variety rice and uttapam’s. Even if the dishes prepared is the same in both the houses there will be a lot of difference in the style of preparation. So, why waste those precious courtship days in messing around the kitchen getting all sweaty and grimy. Let your mother in law do the honors of teaching you. Believe me you bond better this way ;-) so it’s better to start with a clean slate. In case you know cooking already you might not adapt to the style of cooking in your new home or worse your mom in law might not be too impressed with you showing off your culinary skills. So let her teach you even if you do know how to do it!!! Later when you make lip-smacking mouth-watering dishes you can let her hog credit of teaching u;-)

2.    DO spend loads of time with your parents/siblings/friends – For the simple reason that this time never comes back. In case, you are going to settle down in a different city after marriage this becomes all the more crucial. Its really difficult to leave your parents and your identity behind for a new life with a new identity. 

  3.Work on yourself – Indulge in power-yoga /aerobics or whatever fitness regime catches your fancy. Eat healthy with loads of fresh fruits, veggies, juices and buttermilk comprising a major part of your diet. Pamper yourself with costly body spas, facials, manicures et all.

4.    Talk a lot to your fiancée - This phase will never come back. Make him feel special with thoughtful gifts/cards but do not overdo it. Your main intention of chit-chatting so much is not to indulge in over-the-top romantic and cheesy stuff but get to know him better. Do talk about issues important to you like finance, career, children etc. and read in between the words, observe his reactions/expressions etc.


5.    Do not go to all that girlie classes – Like cooking, crafts, paintings (unless u love doing it of-course). It’s all passé, believe me. Instead get clear on what career u want to pursue after marriage. I mean not everyone is lucky enough to continue with whatever profession they are currently pursuing (due to relocation in a different city, in-laws may not be comfortable with the idea of you working in a bank/company, hubby may need your support for his own business etc. Hence, it is advisable to chart out your career plan after discussions with your fiancée and in-laws, and you can start doing your ground work in that field.


6   DO attend Personal grooming workshops - Personal grooming is important to know how to conduct yourself in social dos n parties, what type of clothes/make-up/hairstyle look good on you etc. Do learn how to drape a saree coz in my case I still can’t drape a saree properly and its horrendous to see your Mother-in-Law sitting down on the floor with her party wear saree draped on and struggling with the pleats of your saree. Every time I feel like the floor should open up and swallow me in. The icing on the cake is that when you are not satisfied with the outcome you can’t complain because you do not want to hear the words “do it yourself then”! Ahh..as they say Beggars can’t be choosers.


7   DO attend Personality grooming workshops- Oh yes! Men are no longer in love with those guile girls who look like lost-lambs in this big bad world. They love those confident, bold, suave and modern females who are sure of themselves and can hold their heads high. A woman should be capable of playing diverse roles of a wife, financial planner, event manager etc.


8. Mental makeup – Apart from the physical beautification for your D-day mental makeup is more essential. Gals indulge in laser treatments, chemical peel-offs etc to remove scars, spots etc before their marriage but more than that u need to do a serious cleaning and scrubbing of your thoughts and feelings. In case you have had a past affair/bad break up then u need to move over it and accept your new life partner whole-heartedly. Also, promise yourself to never indulge in petty comparisons of your beau with your ex. Incase u have been the spoilt brat at home and consider it your birth right to spew venom on any-one and every-one who comes your way in your bad mood then please STOP. You will have to take a grip over yourself in your new home.

   9.Real life is different from reel life. – The ahhs n oohs you have uttered on watching those cheesy romantic movies or while reading those “Mills and Boons” do not necessarily happen the same way in real life. Almost every girl has stuffed herself with a  good dose of these stories and has patiently waited for her man (read knight) in shining armor to come riding on a white horse and whisk her away into his world .Girls take a grip over yourselves, adjustments in daily life is different from what you have read or watched. Make sure that the Romantic moments are well sprinkled in your married life but believe me there is a life beyond it too.


10.  Don’t get worked up reading and listening to all the tips!!! – ha ha!! Oh yes, do not get carried away trying to follow each and every tip u read about. There is no need to take all those tips which every Tom, Dick and Harry will give you in this phase of life. Most importantly, you just have to be yourself and follow those tips you can relate to or would be applicable in ur case. Every girl and every couple is unique in itself so basically there cannot be a single set of rules applicable to all.

Last but not the least, this is one of the most golden phase of life (among other golden phases) so just enjoy it fully. It’s not like this phase is the best in married life as many people claim. Life after marriage is also as beautiful, charming and fulfilling provided you know how to keep that spark and magic alive. Go live that beautiful Magical life U deserve!!!.